The Bissell Professional's Last Stain

The Bissell Professional Pet Stain & Odor Remover arrived in a case of four. BW bought it after the second rug went to the curb. (The first rug we didn't talk about.) It sat on the shelf above the washing machine, next to the bleach. The bleach was loud about its business. The Bissell kept quiet. It knew what it was for.

There was a spot on the living room rug. A recurring spot. The dog kept coming back to it like a memory he couldn't shake. The Bissell would get called down, sprayed into the carpet, worked in with the brush attachment. **It worked.** The smell lifted. The spot faded to a pale ghost. Then the dog would do it again. The Bissell never complained. It just sat there, waiting for the next call.

The child found it behind the dryer. She asked if it was a water gun. I said no. She asked why it had a trigger. I didn't have an answer. (BW was at work. She always had the answers.)

I turned my back for less time than it takes to make a cup of coffee. When I came back, the bottle was on its side in the hallway. The trigger was depressed. A trail of white foam led from the kitchen to the child's room. The dog was sitting in the corner, watching. He had that look. The I-didn't-do-it-but-I-definitely-knew look.

The foam had found its way to the child's rug, her bed skirt, and one of her shoes. **CAPS:** SHE HAD DRAWN A FACE ON THE DOG WITH IT. A smiley face. On his flank. The dog looked at me with eyes that said, "This is your fault."

The Bissell was empty. Its whole 32 ounces, gone in one afternoon. It had removed a stain, all right, just not the one it was born for. I rinsed the dog in the tub. The child was banned from the laundry room. BW came home and asked why the house smelled like a wet lab.

The empty bottle went into the recycling bin. It sat there between a tomato sauce can and a cereal box. It had done its job. More than once. More than it should have. The last thing it ever removed was a smiley face from a dog that never asked for it either. That's the thing about professional stain removers. They don't get to choose which stains they erase.

If you liked this story about the Bissell Professional Pet Stain & Odor Remover 32oz, you can buy your own on Amazon. Remember, we're BFF if you do.